Happy Soul-Searching

A Love Letter Never Sent by F on He Said, She Said |

Two years ago today, I have finally mustered all the courage to stride out of a long term relationship and it was by far the most unsettling thing I have ever done. Feeling a shove down my throat, it inevitably got me like I’ve jumped out of a plane without a parachute, hurtling towards the ground at a hundred miles per hour. I knew there was no turning back.

In all honesty, I was a crap, I was miserable, I was such a wreck trying to summon up every scrap of composure in my body — be it partying every night and crying my bloody heart out on the bathroom floor at 3am, or dating a bunch of emotionally unvailable men one after another which had been a pathetic recipe for disaster. I was a real shattered piece of shit.

But as they say, life gives us choices. You either sit on the sidelines, take it as a downfall and engage yourself in pain for the rest of your life or grab on with both hands, deal with that horrible ass heart break and take it as a prosperity in becoming the best version of yourself. Long after I have sobered myself up in that nightmare, it took an awful lot of self confidence to gather my unkempt self and get over it. I travelled, read a lot of books, shopped til I dropped, made new friends and therapeutically wrote everything I was feeling. Well, I must say it helped — a lot.

And then one day, who could have possibly imagine that all the pain would fade away like a hand written word at the edge of the shore being washed by the sea? I have achieved a new level of emotional peace ever so subtly within myself and I’m happier than I ever could imagine.

Happiness doesn’t begin when a man comes along and drags you to a happy ever after. Happiness, I’ve learnt, has always been a choice and life itself is how you make it and it could certainly be as beautiful and as amazing as how you wanted it to be, in a relationship or not.

When I knew what exactly I wanted in my life, there had been no room for situation or people who would drain the positivity out of me. I am over the moon for meeting and loving myself beforehand.

I believe there is surely a lid for every pot, and you will find yours in God’s perfect time.

Happy soul searching.

-F


Feel free to send in your love letters, poems, essays or messages (English or Tagalog) via private message on our Facebook Page. We’ll review them first before deciding to post. Postings are done as often as we can. If they’re not posted yet, either it took too long to post or it was rejected, please send in a new one.

Chosen contributions are posted on the site http://HeSaidSheSaidPH.com

He Said, She Said Philippines reserves the right to approve or reject submissions for posting.

Comments Go Here ▼

Comments

SHARE
Previous articlePaalam
Next articleFriendzone