Paalam

Paalam

from message sender “Leigh” |

(We at He Said She Said change the actual names and places and edit some parts of the message, to protect the identity of our message senders.)

Hello po. I still remember what I said that if ever we talk again, I will still ask pieces of advice from you. And I guess this is the right time to ask again.

I already shared our story before and I also said that he left me without saying anything.
And this time po bumalik siya.

After 6 months na nawala siya, May 18, 2017 nag text po ulit siya sakin. He asked how I am and asked for forgiveness for what he did to me. He also said that I don’t deserve to be treated like that and asked if we could be friends again at least friends.

At first I really don’t know what to say and what should I feel. I will be honest po, before sobrang galit po ako sa kanya dahil sa ginawa niya po sakin but the moment he texted me nawala po lahat ng galit ko, kasi sobrang na miss ko po siya kausap.

And ayun po naging friends po ulit kami, I also asked him the things I want to know and to clarify. And I also said ” please be honest with me. Whatever it is please tell me the truth”
And umamin po siya if bakit niya po nagawa and what kind of guy he is.

He said that “ayaw ko pa talaga maging seryoso sa relationship, ayaw ko pa makipag commit kasi di ko pa kaya buhayin yung sarili ko, yung family ko at yung girl na makikipag commit ako. Gusto ko muna mag tapos ng studies and magka work. I also want to explore, gusto ko maka kilala ng ibat ibang babae. And then kapag sawa na ako, tsaka na Lang ako magseseryoso”

Dumating din po sa point na since friends naman na daw kami, nagpapa hanap siya ng mga magagandang girls sa akin na pwede I flirt. At first kahit ayaw ko po kasi sobrang sakit, ginawa ko padin po kasi I know na ayun Lang yung pwede namin mapag usapan and ayaw ko mawala yung communication namin. And then there was a time na sinabi ko po sa kanya na may nanliligaw sakin, he got mad and said na hindi niya po muna ako kakausapin. And he also said “I love you that’s why I want you to be happy and free”

Sobrang naguluhan na po ako kung ano ba talaga ako sa kanya. He even told me na kahit magka girl friend man siya, mag stay pa din daw po ako kasi ako daw po yung pinaka mahalaga at pinaka love niya sa lahat.

Then a month passed by, I told him the truth na ayaw ko na po gawin yung pinapagawa niya sa ‘kin kasi masakit po na ako pa mismo maghahanap para sa kanya. Kayang kaya niya naman po gawin ng sarili niya bakit kailangan sa akin pa magpatulong. He understood me naman po and said sorry.

Then kagabi lang po nagka usap po Kami ng mahigit 4 hours about sa pagiging not serious in relationships. He even admitted na may girl friend daw po siya right now but he doesn’t love that girl. He also said na alam naman niya din pong madaming boys yung girl kaya okay Lang sa kanya. And malapit niya na daw po I break kasi may gusto na daw po siyang ligawan na iba.

Sa ngayon po sobrang takot na takot na po ako mag relationship again. Lagi na lang po nasa isip ko na sasaktan lang din naman ako ulit ng boys bakit magmamahal pa ulit ako. Gusto ko na lang po mag focus sa studies ko.

Dun naman po ako naging thankful sa kanya na instead I take ko negative yung ginawa niya sakin, I took that as a positive lesson in my life. At least natuto na po ako sa mga bagay tulad ng ganun.

Pero ang gusto ko po I ask ng advice. Paano po kaya ako makaka move on? I can feel naman po na di ko na siya love pero there’s still a part of me na nasasaktan pag alam ko pong may mga girls siya except sa akin.

Na bakit po kaya ganun? Kahit may crush na po akong iba, ibang iba padin po siya para sakin. Kahit may mga kumakausap po sakin na better than him, ayaw ko na po I entertain.

He even told me na “you know what? Maganda ka, mabait ka, someday doctora ka na. Madaming maghahabol sayo na matitino pa at yung deserve mo.”

Napaka-treasure mo, ibang iba ka sa mga babae na nakilala ko” pinag-pray niya din daw po ako na “sana matupad niya po yung mga dreams niya, makita niya din po yung man na mamahalin siya ng totoo, magiging loyal sa kanya at papasayahin siya.”

Kasi sabi po niya ayun na lang daw po p’wede niyang magawang mabuti para sa akin after all ng ginawa niyang di maganda sa akin.

Ano po ba dapat kong gawin?

Paano po kaya ako makaka move on sa kanya? Bakit po kahit alam kong ganun po siya na di seryoso at madaming girls, tanggap ko padin po siya at willing pa din po ako antayin siya hanggang maging serious siya sa relationship? 😞

By next year graduate na po siya and mag-flying na po siya. Unti-unti matutupad niya na po dreams niya kaya sobrang excited po ako for him and proud. Pero nandun din po yung takot na alam kong di niya na din ako kakausapin kasi for sure madami na naman siyang makikilalang ibat-ibang babae which is gusto niya.

And also po pala, sobrang okay lang naman po sa ‘kin na friends kami — mas masaya po ako kaysa sa dati naming set up. Pero bakit po ganun nasasaktan pa din po talaga ako eh?
Ano po dapat kong gawin?

I’m sorry po if makaka abala na naman po ako. Pero di ko na po talaga alam dapat kong gawin.

Thank you po in advance. God bless!

– Leigh

HE SAID:

Hi Leigh, it’s a good thing that your relationship ended amicably. I just sense that your ex didn’t love you enough and obviously, he’s still looking for that someone he’ll commit to. At this point, hindi ikaw yun. So ‘wag mo na siyang antayin pa. Start fresh. It’s better to have ended that chapter sooner than later. Baby steps, Leigh. Kaya mo yan! God is your friend. So ask Him to hold your hand in your life’s journey. Everything will be ok. – Tito Homer

SHE SAID:

Hi Leigh. The first step to moving on is decide that you are willing to do it. Hangga’t walang desisyon na mag umpisa ka walang mangyayari. And when you decide commit to do it. Staying friends with your ex is ok but if it doesn’t help you to be better, cut all communications. Or at least limit it to just saying “hi.” But let me be frank in telling you that he is not the kind of guy who will be serious. So stop expecting anything from him. You deserve someone better. Pray for the right one. Tama yung mag concentrate ka muna sa studies mo. Waiting for God’s gift will be worth it. So the decision to move on is up to you. Are you ready to take the first step? God bless. – Tita Jinky

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