From message sender “Fred” |
Hi, I have a question on being at a crossroads in my relationship. I have a girlfriend and we’ve been together for more than 6 years. I can say that I am still loyal to her. But lately, I have come to like someone else. “Like,” meaning more than friends. I told the “other girl” about my feelings for her.
My question is, am I really still being loyal or faithful to my girlfriend?
What does faithfulness and loyalty really mean? Is it your being unfaithful only if you like another girl and that other girl likes you back and you are so-called girlfriend/boyfriend?
I need your advise please. Thank you and God bless
He Said: Hi Fred. Let me talk to you, man-to-man, on this.
A relationship is based on many things especially a clear commitment towards each other. It’s not just a question of feelings because these die down, too. First and foremost, it’s a question of trust. This includes being open about your feelings and what’s happening around you and with you. There was a time when my wife (Sweetie) told me that if I think I will be falling for someone else, I should tell her. That, to me now, means a commitment to go through storms together. Because it’s a pact we told each other, to stick together no matter what.
Let me ask you: if the situation was reversed, how would you feel?
Thus, let’s not be unfair to both girls. You should decide who really you should be with. If you already started revealing your feelings to the other one, while your current GF is clueless — unfair, di ba? Do it like a man. Decide now. Break up with the current even before courting another. Be honest with your girlfriend, especially to yourself. My suggestion is for you to think things over really hard. Maybe, it’s just a passing thing. Maybe, there is just some space for boredom somewhere because it has been more 6 years. Maybe there is a need for a level-up in the relationship you have. Prayer is key. Pray for wisdom. God bless!
She Said: Firstly, one does not need a relationship with another while the current relationship is still ongoing for one to be looked at as unfaithful. One’s intentions, spoken or unspoken, already tells something about loyalty and faithfulness. The act of telling the other girl your intentions already means you did something more than you should have.
But let me tell you this. You might just be passing a certain phase in your current relationship, Fred. Isn’t marriage still far from your plans? because after 6 years with your girlfriend, you might need something more to spice it up.
For now, I can only tell you to pray for God to bless you in your decisions. Ask for a clarity. You should remember to be fair to both girls. God bless!
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