by IM | shared on He Said, She Said |
Wherever you are right now, I hope this letter finds its way to you — somehow.
I want to tell you that I’ve come to forgive myself. It was quite some time. I’ve lived with guilt, with every what if’s and what could have been’s and with every little thing there is to regret just because I wanted love to do the conquering on my behalf. But it did not. ‘Cause I did not. I chose to be the one that got away; thinking I can’t be the person who will make you happy. I took a step back, and another two, and have ran away so far.
So far that I found it hard to find my way back. It was not easy. And I never thought it was harder to recover, to mend, to heal, like stabbing other people but getting the wound, like wounding them but be the one bleeding. Because when we want to make people happy, sometimes it’s not really making them happy. It is just what we selfishly think that would make them happy. And it hits us badly.
I want you know that I’m glad that you happened and that somehow our paths meet a point of intersection. I’m finally letting you go. Of the pain, of the guilt. But let me keep the memories. The wonderful times – the happy times.
I forgave myself. I’ve forgiven myself. Because I want to be happy, too.
This would be the last letter about you. I know you’re happy too. 💌
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