HeSaidSheSaidPH | A 10-Year Relationship Gone Bad | Message sender’s name withheld or changed.
I had a relationship for almost a decade. He was my first boyfriend and I was his first serious relationship. It should’ve been our 10th year next month. We’d plan of settling down next year but things were shattered coz we’ve parted ways 2 months ago due to the third party. It was the first time we’ve encountered such a problem in our entire relationship.
Early this year, I was able to log in to his messenger and from there I had a confirmation that he’s pursuing a girl from his work. The girl knew that he’s single not until we both texted her last March to disclose our relationship. I confronted him and said he was sorry and he’ll make up for the mess that he did. I tried to compromise and understood him for how many months just to make our relationship get back to normal. Unluckily, things were never the same. I always had that doubt that his intentions were not genuine any more. I already had trust issues with him and I think it’s normal. Since the time that I gave him another chance, all I did was crying and crying because I really thought and felt in my heart that I was never enough.
Fast forward last May, He initiated the breakup. He said that He wasn’t in love with me anymore and He was still thinking about that girl though they’re not seeing each other or had a communication because of the current situation right now. I let him go though deep inside I’m very much broken because that time it was the best thing to do to save my self.
Recently, I stalked one of our mutual friends on Instagram using my other account and there I saw that they’re officially together. That same girl that cause our break up.
I don’t know what happened to him that He had that guts to replace me with someone whom he doesn’t know very well. I’m blaming also his friends because instead of helping him with our problem, they’re the ones who pushed him to pursue the girl. I told him the last time we’d talk that maybe what he feels for the girl wasn’t love but either infatuation or lust.
I’m still trying to get back on track because almost half of my life he was with me. Both of our families were already expecting us to start our family very soon. But things didn’t happen according to God’s plan. I’m focusing on myself right now and to do several things alone. But I’m not a hypocrite to say that I already moved on because right now I’m still hurting and I’m praying that maybe one day he’ll find his wag again to me. And if not, maybe we’re not meant to be. Life must go on.
How can I handle this? Need some help.
Thanks in advance Tito Homer & Tita Jinky
-Terry (not real name)
Hello Terry. There are no short cuts to moving forward. You really need to go through it and with prayers, you’ll come out stronger and better. It’s okay not to be okay, but don’t stay there for too long. Here is some advice that hopefully will get you through.
1. Cry and Cry some more
2. Clear your baggage. Acknowledge, accept and let go of your feelings
3. Recognize he is not the one for you
4. Share with your close friends
5. Don’t contact/stalk him. Unfriend/block
6. Forgive him
7. Do the things you love
8. Create happy memories with friends and family
9. Know there is nothing wrong with you or with him. No blaming. It just didn’t work out.
10. Believe that God is preparing the right one for you.
Tito Homer & Tita Jinky