by Maureen L. Marcos
I see you every single day. I sometimes bump into you along the hallways. I sometimes stay in the same place with you. I sometimes hear you say “Hi” to me but I just ignore you.
How I want you to know how much pain you caused me. I want to scream right in your face how I felt so shattered. I want to hurt you- punch you, hit you, kick you—–but I never did those and I will never do them….
I just lifted my feelings to Jesus. I also talked to Him about you—- how I cared about you but you just took me for granted. How I have given myself the chance to trust you, but you just broke it. How I became honest with you, but all you have ever told me were lies that I believed. How I saw you as a good person, but you have just proven that I saw you wrong.
All I ever asked of you was just a little bit of your honesty, but have never shown me that, not once. All I ever asked of you was to let your feelings out, but you were so coward to say how you really feel….
I won’t send you messages anymore. I won’t even call you like I used to..
I won’t even dare look into those eyes again and talk to you, NO.
I will constantly ignore you.
You have broken this heart so crucially that it seems impossible for it to be whole again, but I will assure you that the pieces will go back and fit with each other again cause I am surrendering it all to God.
I am not saying that I will be over you, because I am already over you.
I won’t say that I will forgive you, because I already have forgiven you.
I won’t pray that you will meet someone who’s gonna break your heart into a tiny million pieces one day so that you’ll know how it feels to be hurt, shattered and broken. NO. I WILL NOT DO THAT. Instead, I will pray that you may come to really know Christ and surrender everything to Him. I pray that you will learn to open up your heart to Him and let Him fill it with His unfathomable love. Because you know what? As much as I wanted to share a lot of things with you, I also want to share with you the greatest gift I have ever received— salvation through Christ.
I pray that you would be happy in every choice that you make. I pray that you would be content in your life. I pray that you will learn to realize what truly matters to you. I pray that you won’t take things and people for granted, so that in the end, you won’t be left alone.
I won’t pray that the things you did to me would also happen to you. NO, I WILL NEVER DO THAT. I won’t also pray that karma will have a kick at you because I don’t believe in such. I just believe that when a person sows something, he will reap. I just hope that one day, you will be mature enough to realize that hurting other people is not a good thing to do. That one day, you will be honest enough to say that you have not treated everybody good, even those who were very honest with you. That one day, you will be man enough to say that you are sorry whenever you hurt somebody. That one day, you will have enough courage to say what you really feel. That one day, you will be that one person— a good man who I knew you always were.
I hope that the best things will happen to you and that you will experience the abundant love of Christ. May all go well with you in this life.