LDR Blues

from message sender “Bessy” |

(We at He Said She Said change the actual names and places and edit some parts of the message, to protect the identity of our message senders.)

Hi Tita Jinky and Tito Homer,

I have a “relationship concern”. Yes I won’t call it a problem because it’s not yet a problem.

The thing is, my ex bf and I just (recently) got back together. Maybe about 4 months ago. We broke up last 2010 because of him being very workaholic and didn’t have much time for me. Lagi siyang busy to be with me. So I decided to end it. But we kept our communication open, in fact, we are friends in Facebook, we sometimes chat on messenger and the usual kamustahan, also, we always see the whereabouts of each other thru our posts etc.

Until recently nga, we had a long chat then we end up talking about our past. He explained to me that he was in between 3 jobs when we were a couple that’s why nawalan siya talaga ng time for me. He apologized to me for not being able to manage his time and for taking me for granted but he assured me na there is no third party (on his part) talaga while we were together. So, I accepted his apology and we decided to try again.

But now we are having an LDR (he’s in in Mediterranean while I’m here in the Philippines). He tells me everything naman and I can see sa mga post niya na wala siyang gf dun, but he’s still the same workaholic guy I used to know. Sometimes he won’t talk to me for days because he’s been working for long hour shift; and I feel being left out again.

I told him about what I feel and keep on reassuring me naman na wala siyang iba dun. He’s just really busy at work.

We will see each other again hopefully this year. But the thing is, I’m starting to doubt my decision on getting back to him. What if mali po pala yung ginawa ko?

But I admit, after all this years, I still have feelings for him. Pero how can I tell him to make me his priority? Although sabi naman niya if magkasama na kami he will give me time na pero I need it now.

Am I being unfair to him for not trying to understand his situation or I’m in the right position to demand it to him?

Sobrang O.A. lang po kasi niya talaga mag work.

I will appreciate any help/advice from you, Tita and Tito. I really want our relationship to work this time.

Thank you in advance.


P.S. Sweety din po tawagan namin 😊

He Said: Hi Bessy, from the point of view of a guy, we’re so workaholic for our future family. So, baka naman kasama ka dun sa plano niya, di ba? Buti nga may ambisyon siya. I was like that before (well, still am) but now I can balance. Be glad that he’s like that. Actually, si Tita Jinky, medyo katulad mo din mag demand ng time eh nasa same city lang naman ako hehe.  Just don’t pressure him, ok? Be sweet when you ask for more time. Ipa-explain mo lang sa kanya kung bakit siya ganun. Para saan at para kanino. Kung para sa self-fulfillment, paki umbag na lang at sabihin mong sumulat dito.  Seriously, just lovingly explain your expectations as well. Just don’t be too demanding, ok? God bless!

She Said: Hello Bessy. As long as you’re sure about your feelings for each other, give him all the understanding that he needs. Maybe he’s really working hard for your future. Nagging won’t do any good. If he’s really busy show him that giving you a little time each day will make you happy. Ask lovingly. Maybe if you’re not demanding for it anymore sya naman ang gagawa ng effort to make time. Give him something to think about. And show him that you deserve it 😁. God bless.

Reply from Bessy:

Thank you Tito Homer and Tita Jinky for your advice. I will do that po. Sometimes lang po kasi nahihiya ako tanungin sya if para po ba for our future yun kasi baka sabihin niya ang feeling ko. Anyway, I will try to ask him this time. I just hope magustuhan ko yung sagot niya..he he. Thank you again to both of you. It really helped me a lot. God bless! 😊

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