My Last Message for You, Mahal [Let me be the one]

Dear Mahal,
I’ve been stressing a lot for this past few months, and it’s getting worst day by day. I’ve been keeping it all by myself and I think I couldn’t hide it anymore.
i just want you to know that…
Thank you for not choosing me maybe someday I am already chosen in the right time,thank you for losing me. The day you left, I started learning how to be independent though Its hard for me. Thank you for broken pieces.Thank you for the tears that I cry,I know it was a stupid question to ask you, when I already know the anSwer? thank you, I know that I am not important to you or the woman you’ve been always thinking of. I know that I am replaceable in your eyes, I am not worthy- for you to fight for me. All you ever did was to let go because it was the best you can do anyway. This 2019 I pray for your happiness like I know I will be happy as well someday.
It doesn’t matter if you will be with someone else, you deserve to be happy even though you gave me so much pain. I think I found out my real feelings, but it doesn’t matter anyway, I am not the one you need or wanted.
Thank you, I am not chasing you- I only wanted answers but you never wanted me to know.

They say “its better to loved and lost, than to never loved at all.”Goodbyes make us think.Makes us realize what we had, what we’ve lost and what we’ve taken for granted.
Its takes a lot of bravery for me to write this letter for you knowing that this will be the last. Na some of my messages ay nabasa muna.


It’s been months the last time we’ve talked, I still remember kung paano nagsimula ang lahat.
Meeting/Having you was one of the toughest risks I took, but it’s worth it dahil sa’yo napatunayan ko na kaya ko pa pala magmahal ng katulad mo kahit mahirap.
Hindi ko inexpect na you will be so much special. Naging faithful ako sa’yo, hindi ako nagmahal ng iba habang mahal kita, lahat iniwasan ko, lahat tiniis ko kahit mahirap.
Ikaw lang yong lalaking minahal ko ng ganito, alam mo yan. Ikaw lang ang lalaking pinakilala ko sa buong family ko. Na kahit ganito na tayo, image mo parin ang iningatan ko para Hindi mag iba ang tingin nila sayo. I know its probably too late to say this things dahil you are perfectly fine without me.
Nasasaktan man ako, I thank God for you. I thank him because of you, because once in my life he gave me you. I thank him still despite of what happened between us, because at some point I needed your love. Your love has brought me so much multicolor of emotions and feelings to my life, you’re there even in the darkest situation of my life and I’m blessed to receive that kind of love/gift from you.
I don’t regret loving you or having you before. You were important to me, my world used to revolve around you, i clung to you as my source of happiness. You are a provider of positivity when something are starting to fall. Esp. . Your always there to cheer me up, so that when i took the exam I’ll make sure that I will passed the board exam kasi ikaw ang dahilan nun e, isa ka sa dahilan . Salamat for being my inspiration. I missed that way.

I’m grateful for what we had way back when we were together when everything was fine. You never know i how much i loved you and cared for you . You made me realize that love is never about complaining of what a person cannot provide but be thankful of what he can offer wholeheartedly. Alam ko sawang-sawa ka na kababasa ng thank you ko sa’yo pero promise last na talaga ito.
let me be the oneThank you ha? Sobra!
Thank you for at least giving a chance to know, meet, love you. I’m blessed.
Thank you for letting me in.
Thank you for letting me feel that I was special for you.
Thank you for being understanding and being there for me sa lahat ng mga kadramahan ko sa buhay.
Thank you for all the the sacrifices and efforts you’ve rendered. I appreciated it.
Thank you for staying everytime I push you away.
Thank you for giving me the BEST that you could.
Thank you for loving me despite of all my imperfections.
Thank you dahil binigyan mo ako ng pagkakataong mahalin ka.
Thank you for being my everything in our small infinity.
Indeed your such an angel, a God given-blessing.

Aside from thank you, gusto ko ding mag-sorry sa’yo.

Sorry sa mga pagkukulang ko dati, sa pagiging burden ko sa’yo, alam ko din na nahihirapan ka na sa ‘kin kaya sorry.

Sorry kung nasaktan din kita sa madaming bagay.
Sorry kasi I was so selfish back then.
Sorry for not being the best girl. Pero I did my best para maging sapat sayo kahit walang tayo.
Sorry kasi hindi na ako nakabawi pa sayo.
Sorry kung hindi ko nakayang ibigay lahat ng gusto mo na alam kung magpapasaya sa’yo,sorry kung hanggang don lang ang lahat.
Sorry kung minahal kita ng ganito.
Sorry kung hindi ako naging sapat sa ‘yo.
Please know that your efforts before are highly much appreciated and treasured.

This is the hardest part I did my best to save us, to win you back. I did tried to save the love i have for you kahit 1% nalang ung chance pinanghahawakan ko pa.

One percent na lang ung chance pinanghhawakan ko para bumalik tayo sa dati. Dahil kahit anong gawin ko parang ayaw muna, ako na lang yong lumalaban, ayoko na pilitin ka pa, dahil mas masakit sakin kung mamahalin mo lang ako dahil naawa ka dahil sa nasasaktan ako. I lower my pride to make us okay again but i felt that your not interested anymore.
You changed a lot! Your routines, the whole you. Many times you said your sorry but the coldness is still in there. Oo nagkakatetext tayo, chat pero kung kelan mo na lang gusto, pero tiniis ko yon dahil alam ko busy ka, naiintindihan ko. Pero lahat ay nag-iba ni hindi ko na nga maalaala kung ano ang boses mo, kung ano na itsura mo. Nonstop calls stop. unlimited text became limited, chats and vcalls are gone. Minsan seen o unseen tiniis ko kahit masakit baka kasi maayos pa, yon pala nawawalan kana ng gana.

Napapagod ka na, sobrang sakit I did my very best to make you happy, yong kahit bawal ginawa ko. Yong tipong magkakilala na lang tayo.


Hanggang yong mga pagbabagong yon ay tumagal hanggang ngayon. Di ko na maramdaman yung dating ikaw. Mahirap yong wala akong idea kung ano pa ba, meron pa ba o wala na. I thought your a man, how’d wish na sa naging man enough ka na sabihin sa’kin lahat. Gustuhin ko man magtanong pero di magawa kasi base sa mga pinapakita mo andun na yong sagot pero sana naging matapang ka hanggang sa huli. So eto na. Ako na yong maglalakas ng loob sa atin kahit mahirap.
Ayoko pa sana mahal dahil gustong gusto ko pa.
Ito pa nga yung message ko sayo last August:

“Handsome M, I know you knew that ILOVEYOU though your feelings aren’t the same the way I do. I am deeply hurt mahal, I just don’t want to believe that everything between us is fine, that everything is still the same, na iniisip ko na lang lagi your love is still the same, na walang nagbago sa’yo, kahit masakit ayos lang, kaya pa Mahal, but I’m not blaming you for this, its my fault for expecting way too much, my heart is really breaking when you ignore me, pero tiniis ko yon. ganun pa man Thank you for making me happy all the time especially when were together eating siomai or simple hang out, you made me felt special in some ways and thank you so much for making me feel that I am valued and appreciated, I miss that way Mahal, though it was very short lived happiness Hindi ko yon pinagsisihan, kahit Hindi ako masaya sa mga nangyayari satin ngayon, kahit nasasaktan ako, I still love you. I promise I will never be a hindrance to your happiness no matter who the girl will be. I will always support you and be happy for you. I will always be here, I love you still and I will always be Mahal no matter how hard our situation is, how hard our no Label relationship I’m still here, dahil kaya ko pa kahit parang ikaw Hindi na, pero I do not hate you Mahal, though this is the most painful thing, but i will try to accept it. I want you to be happy I’m sorry for loving you so much. I am forever grateful and thankful that you entered in my life. If we ever meet again soon. I hope everything already changes for good. Sana mag iingat ka palagi mag pray at sana successful career padin ang wish ko para sayo at sa family mo. Always remember din na your just one of the best things that happened to me..I am really looking forward that we are fine ” pero wala na talaga, ginawa kuna lahat…. Oo siguro ang tanga ko pagdating sayo na kahit paulit ulit muna akong saktan andito padin ako, paulit ulit kapa ding pinagbibigyan.”

At hanggang sa dapat nung Christmas pa, pero parang hindi ko pa kaya, hinihintay kita, pero wala talaga e. Kahit bati wala.. I dont know kung may hinihintay pa ako o wala na?? So i decided na sabihin sayo to….

MALAYA KA NA. MALAYA KA NA, Mahal.

Sa lahat ang pag-aalinlangan mo kung meron man. I want you to choose happiness, I want you to be truly happy even if that means that I cannot be part of your life anymore.. I know that someday I’ll be fine, I can fight all this pain, that still can fight this, that I can still make it but I cannot do this all alone so I don’t have any choice so I decided to let you go, let you do more and free. Maybe the amount of happiness I shared with you can’t fill the happiness you need. You deserve every good thing in the world. I’m always praying for you to be blessed and safe. Ayoko pa sana pero gusto kuna na maging masaya ka.. Hindi ko alam kung nagkulang ba ako o sumobra ang pagmamahal ko sa’yo. Ayoko na iniisip mo ako, I choose to stay pero parang wala na, kaya kahit mahirap sakin gawin to, kakayanin ko to make you happy.

Letting you go takes a lot of courage, bravery for me but still I’m making it for you. I’m letting you free of me. I’m letting you go even if you’re already left. I hope you will also find the lucky one who deserves all of your love. Who can give all the happiness that I was not able to give you. It’s really hard to say goodbye.

But the memories I have collected from you will be treasured by my heart.

I will miss you, Mahal. At hindi ko pinagsisishan ang mga bagay na ginawa ko para sa’yo dahil naging masaya ako sa’yo kahit na walang tayo at hindi rin ako galit, kahit minsan hindi ko naman magawang magalit sa’yo. Hayaan mo makakamove on din ako sa’yo, maybe today, tomorrow, next week next month or next year. Hindi ko alam. Ganun man I do not hate you, Mahal, I never did.
Salamat sa pagkakataon na hinayaan mo akong mahalin ka. Wag mo sisihin ang sarili mo. Walang may kasalanan. Napagod ka lang at siguro hindi lang kita naintindihan, kasi ako hindi ko alam kung kelan ako mapapagod sa’yo.
Continue life and still be a brave Man for your family. I will focus on myself. It was all worth loving you.

I LOVE YOU. Goodbye.

Ps. Nasabi ko na sa’yo ‘to, pero wala akong nakuhang malinaw na sagot sa’yo. Siguro nga wala na, pero sana naging totoo ka. Napatawad na kita kaya wala na sigurong dahilan para maging magkaibigan pa… Pasensya na masakit lang talaga. Hindi ko to gusto pero kailangan kong gawin to para mahalin ko naman yong sarili ko na nakalimutan kong mahalin dahil sayo. Hindi mo na makikita ang message na to. Kung dumating man yong time na magkita tayo, sana OKAY na ako.

PAANO BA TATAPUSIN ANG RELASYONG WALA NAMANG NASIMULAN?

– Mahal
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