Six months pregnant with no support from the baby’s father

From message sender “Zeny” |

Hello, I am one of your avid readers of your Facebook page He Said She Said Philippines.

I need your advice. I am happily pregnant (6 months now) and excited that I’ll soon be having a little angel. But what’s hurting me is the fact that the man whom I thought will be there for us chose someone else.

He never denied the child. But until today,  I am still waiting for any effort or support from him. He can’t even send a single “hi” or “hello.” In fact, we live in the same area, but somehow, he can’t show himself to me. I’ve been to every prenatal and ultrasound schedules alone. It hurts seeing other women with their husband or partner happy and excited. He told me on the day that I told him that I was pregnant that he was confused, can’t decide, and doesn’t know what to do. But also during those times, he chose to be with another girl. I feel I am nothing to him.  I can manage the pain of him not choosing me. What hurts me most, however, is the fact the he doesn’t care for our baby — his child. I am trying to forget all our memories together. I also forgave him because he is still the father of my baby. I am still hoping that one day he’ll have a change of heart and be a father to our baby. Is it wrong to still hope and wait for him? Should I still fight for him for our baby’s sake? Or is it time to move forward for the future of my baby? Thank you and God bless!

He Said: Hi Zeny! Thanks for trusting us with your story and questions. First, I am proud of your mature decision to continue with your pregnancy despite the lack of commitment from your ex. Remember that God chose you to be the mother of your baby. That is the most important thing you need to realize right now. That makes you such a blessing to have this privilege. Hope is a positive word. But for the sake of your child, you have to brush this aside for now — that you wait for him. He already made his choice by leaving you and your baby at this most important milestone. It’s his loss not yours. Move forward ka na, Zeny. I’m sure your parents will say the same. Naku, if we were your parents, mas excited pa kami hehe. 🙂 Kakayanin mo yan kasi blessing ni Lord yan. Di kayo pababayaan. Sure yan. Just focus your energies on the future of your baby. That’s what’s important now. If your ex comes to his senses at any point, only then will you think of what’s next. Pero huwag kang aasa, ok? Positive lang ang outlook. Para masaya ang baby mo. God loves both of you. He’s got your back.

She Said: Hi Zeny. I will answer your question straight to the point. Yes it is wrong to still hope for him to come back. Be it for you or your baby. He already made his decision. As a mom of three, one of the most important part of being one is the pregnancy stage, especially on your first child. How can you trust him if he left you during the most crucial part of your life? Not just left you, but decided to be with someone else. He is not worth your time and effort. Don’t say it’s for your baby, because I don’t think he will even be a good father. Sorry if I’m harsh, but if I were your mom, i will keep you away from him to save you from further heartaches. Concentrate on your baby, pray hard for a normal and safe delivery and i assure you, when you see your baby every worry that you have will fade away. Also pray for the right one who will accept both of you without reservations. God’s plans are always perfect so offer everything to Him. I will pray for both of you. Life is beautiful so smile. Stay positive and healthy for your little one. Oh! And please use your last name for the baby. Cut all connections you have with him. I repeat, he doesn’t deserve both of you. God loves you ☺.

Reply from “Zeny”

I really do appreciate all your advices ma’am/sir. Rest assured that I’ll do as you told. Parang sina mama at papa din kayo, same advice din po. Hindi na ako aasa. Focus na po ako sa baby ko. The chances I gave him were already enough. I’ll forever treasure this advices, ma’am/sir. They boosted me up. Please continue He Said-She Said ‘coz this is such an interesting page and I love reading each and every article. It’s exemplary. Everything comes from the heart and I know from your own experiences. Both of you are instruments of God to bring colors into our lives (your readers). I will also be praying for you. Thank you. And may God bless you and your family 😊

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