When it’s time to move forward

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From message sender “Adele” |

Hi and Good Evening! I’m from the Philippines. I saw you on my profile posted by a friend.

I thought of messaging you for advice. I couldn’t really talk to anyone. Here goes…

My partner and I are not really in good terms. We have a 6-month old son and he doesn’t come often to visit him and doesn’t give any money at all. I have been raising our son all by myself. I had my pregnancy in Singapore, but came back here in the Philippines to deliver my baby.

I tried to stay at their house for 2 weeks after my delivery but found out that he was cheating on me. I decided to go back to my old house with my brother (as my mom and other siblings were in another house).

We fought about many small things. But everything we fought about, he’d tell his sister and parents. That’s why it seems they hate me now. He lied and told them things I didn’t say.

One day, I got fed up and posted on Facebook how irresponsible he is and that he doesn’t have the right to bad mouth me since he’s not the one providing for our needs. Then after awhile, I realized that I did a bad thing and deleted the post. But he and his friends saw the post already. I apologized to him.

He kept saying bad words to me through messages when I tried talking to him. I feel that the old him — a respectful, loving and caring man– is gone. He’s always hot tempered and seems to not care at all about me or our son.

I pray so hard every night and I cry because of what’s been happening. I love him but I couldn’t bring back myself to love him more. I know that he’s just trying to stay because of our child and it’s no longer about me.

Now, I wanted to know if it’s time to gain back my self-respect and move forward with my life and that of my son’s. It pains me to let go and I find myself praying that God will me let go and accept the things that are not meant for me, instead of praying for us to get back together. How can I move on from here?

He Said: Hi Adele, thanks for messaging. In a loving relationship, it takes a lot of patience from both parties to make it work. In this case, it looks like it is one sided. I understand that what you currently decide is because of your child. Remember, your son, first and foremost, needs a mother. If his mom is no longer functioning 100%, then he suffers ultimately. Seek peace, Adele. That is the most important thing. It might be hard in your current predicament to think straight, but you really need to decide for both you and your son what will bring you peace. With peace comes positive vibes and all things good. Have you prayed lately for God to guide you? I’m sure He has spoken. It’s probably time you made that decision to choose peace — for your son’s sake. God will always be with you. Your son is His son. He will be cared for by God. Trust Him, ok?

She Said: Hi Adele. While reading your message, it’s very clear that you are no longer happy in your relationship with your partner and vice versa. It’s really hard to let go of someone especially in your situation because he is the father of your son. But do you think staying together will still be healthy for both of you? Don’t stay for the wrong reasons. Deciding to fight for someone should be a mutual feeling. You cannot fight for someone who doesn’t want you anymore. I understand you have a child together, but if you are not getting any support from him, you might as well raise him alone. If you decide to do this, make sure you cut all connections with him. Start fresh. Focus on your baby. Pray for wisdom and guidance. You will never go wrong with prayers. It works wonders. Stay beautiful. Be positive and strong for your little one. God is good. He will never abandon us. God bless both of you 😘.

P.S. Don’t post anything negative on social media. Not even quotes that is meant for him. You should show him that you are better without him. Life is beautiful. Enjoy it ☺.

Reply from “Adele”

Thank you for answering me. I really appreciate you guys. While reading “He Said, She Said” I was crying. I know it will be hard but I’m positive that whatever I will be going through, I have to hold on to God’s promises.

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