from message sender “Erin” |
(We at He Said She Said change the actual names and places and edit some parts of the message, to protect the identity of our message senders.)
Hello po! I have been a follower of the He Said, She Said platform on Facebook for a while now and it is definitely one of those pages that makes my heart warm whenever I get to see new posts and what it has to offer daily. I have stumbled upon the post that the both of you offer advice and I thought to myself that what is a better way to be adviced by no other than the two of you – relationship coaches, I would not certainly let this opportunity to be passed up.
To give a little background of myself, I am Erin and I’m sixteen years old. I am currently studying and trying my best to excel even though my efforts sometimes fail short. I mean, I do excel on some subjects but… not too good on some. The thing is, I keep looking for love anywhere! I know this may sound crazy coming from a teenager like me but I feel as if the only way I could be satisfied is if I get into a relationship with someone who will assure me that I am enough. I am such a hopeless romantic so anything I deemed “romantic” that a guy does on me, I fall hard. I may fall in love fast but I also fall out of love fast. I guess, you can not really use the term “love” in this case, but I don’t know how to describe or define it yet. Despite me constantly reassuring myself that being involved in a relationship is not the only way to be happy, I still find myself trying to push myself into the opposite. If I can’t find one in real life, I would try to find love through online dating. Even for me, writing my story is already hard to believe because of the fact that I’m still young but it’s true and I just can’t seem to stop doing so. It’s like I am on a never ending quest looking for affection. Please, I want to break out of this habit. I really need your advice 💔
P.s. More power to the He Said, She Said community! What an awesome family and most importantly, to the people who started it in the first place xoxo
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Hi Erin, a big thanks for your kind words and welcome to the HSSS Family! Candidly, you’re not alone. Many people (not only teenagers!) are constantly looking for love — and try so much to look for it by being in a relationship. Guess what? Yes, they often fail. Not be over-dramatic or douse water into any perceived romance you’re dreaming of, love should not be looked for. Love will eventually find you. That should be your default. Especially for people as young as you, your mantra should be “Guard your heart.” You have to be patient or else, you’ll keep breaking your heart into many little pieces that it would be harder and harder to pick them up and make your heart whole again. Look at it this way. You are blessed to have so much love in your heart that you want to give it away ASAP. The thing is, God is love, and His love is more than enough. You might find it not easy to understand, but why don’t you try it? Talk to God, one-on-one. If you’re a Catholic, visit the Blessed Sacrament. In the silence of your heart, you’ll be able to understand what I mean. Pray for God to fill in that void that only God’s love can fill. Then you’ll soon see that God is enough. From now on, let this be your motto — “let love find me.” And when it does, you’ll know that it has God’s blessing. God bless you! – Tito Homer
Hello Erin. You’re right. You are still very young to be in a relationship, especially if you’re the one looking for it. All you need to do to end this “searching for love” habit is to simply put a stop to it. Don’t waste your time doing things that a guy is supposed to do. Let them look for you. Let love find you. Waiting is the key to a happy future. It might take a year or two, or even a decade or more. But who cares?Just keep yourself busy. Spend time with your family and friends. And most important of all, pray. Pray to God to give you the right one. The one who you truly deserve. Rest assured if you finally meet the one, the long wait will be worth it. Life is beautiful and simple. Enjoy and don’t complicate it. God bless!