It may be hard to believe that after more than three years, I am still in the process of healing. That there are still days when I still think of him and all those what ifs. It had me overthink things all over again and that would eventually led me to some sleepless nights. I had to be strong for myself, don’t get me wrong, I am just blessed with a very supportive and caring family and friends. But there just days when you know that you have to be your own hero. When you have to stand up on your own.
It isn’t a one-night process. Heck, there’s no even an exact time to move on. It’s not a ‘time will tell’ kinda thing. Because in all honesty, it will still be your choice if you want to heal. Yes, it’s a choice. You have to choose to be happy, choose to forgive, choose to move forward, choose God. That’s when moving on takes place. Step by step. Feel the pain but take God’s love with you so that you are still reminded that no matter how painful the situation, only God’s love will never end.
When he left, I realized how one thing you love the most in life would soon be gone in just a snap or without you knowing it. I was a mess back then, I felt like I had the world in my hands and for all I know, it was just temporary. It was like everything and everyone in my life right now seems like they just come and go. But I’d like to think that God has a purpose and reasons for everything that happens in my life. It may be blurry in the beginning but I know someday, after all the heartaches and tears I will see the light. The answers to my questions. The what is to all my what if’s.