Mistakenly Friend-zoned?

Mistakenly Friend-zoned

HeSaidSheSaidPH |  Mistakenly Friend-zoned? | When you go on a trip with your long-time crush, should you let out your true feelings?

Hello, I love your page and I learn a lot from it.

I’m here to seek advice, but let me narrate my story and it’s kind of long you would understand me better. Please bear with me.

I liked this guy since 4th-year highschool (2005). I never had a chance to be friends with him at that time so I kept my admiration a secret. Then exactly a year after, my friend gave me a number and she said the owner of that number could be a good friend of mine. So yes, I tried texting the number and to my surprise, it was my crush J. We became friends but not really close. We exchange short convos every now and then.

I tried not to resurrect my feelings that were already forgotten. So I decided to stop talking to him.

After years of not talking, he added me on Facebook (2014) and our common friends created a group chat and we got connected again. He asked for my number again. Additionally, our friends set us up on a lunch date on Saturday. It was the first time I met him after our highschool graduation. I admit that I still have the same feelings for J. But fear ruled me out and I started avoiding him after that lunch date.

After 2 years, I learned he got a job in Dubai and I messaged him and he confirmed the news. So didn’t hear anything from him since then until 2017, he messaged me and congratulated me on getting my master’s degree. I thanked him and had a little kumustahan. Then he informed me of his annual leave schedule that would fall on Christmas season. He invited me to hang out in one of the restaurants in our hometown.

It pushed through, I met him again and I yes I felt the same old feeling again.

Since December 2017 we’ve been constantly chatting and even shared dreams. We planned to go on a trip to the UK because we are both Potterheads.

We became close and I didn’t expect it to happen. We pushed through with our UK dream trip last year. I was planning to tell him how I feel during the trip but I was afraid it might affect our travel so I didn’t tell him about it. There were people asking if we went to the UK together. So on our second night there, he asked me what are we supposed to tell everyone. I answered just let them get puzzled. His mood changed after that. The next morning, he told me about his reply to our common friend who was so curious if we went on a trip together. He replied, “I’m with a good friend”. I don’t know if this is a good sign or what. It bothers me because I think that means we cannot cross the friendship line.

Until now, I haven’t told him of how I feel and it’s like I could no longer hide it and I just want to let him know. But I’m afraid of what will his reaction be.

Lately, we are not talking frequently like we used to. Seldom means once or twice a month and it’s a short convo. I tried asking him if he’s okay and he said he’s thinking about a lot of things recently.

Plus, I also feel anxious because I learned last December that he will not spend his Christmas vacation here this year, he will visit his family in the US who already migrated there. So I think there’s no chance of seeing him.

Hope to hear from you. I badly need advice. Thank you.

– Misha (not her real name)


Hi Misha,

Not telling him how you feel is your choice. In my opinion you did the right thing. As a mom, girls should be pursued not the other way around. As a friend, girl tama yan dapat tayo ang nililigawan. As a prayer warrior, pray for it unceasingly. Ask God to give you the right one. And if he is your God’s gift, everything will fall into place at the right moment in God’s perfect timing. You don’t need to lift a finger. God bless!

-Tito Homer & Tita Jinky

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