Numb

by Justin Veneracion | shared on He Said, She Said |

I’m already numb.

Those words came out from my mouth after I thought that it’s not all about us. That feeling was incurred after I realized that it’s not only you, and it’s not only me. That moment was considered a shock when I knew, I fell out of love.

We tried our best to conquer that feeling. We started again. We made new ventures. We renewed ourselves. At the end, you knew that we were trying.

Everyday was almost our lives. We were calling. We were texting. We did everything to strengthen this feeling even if we were miles away; even if we knew that we were already falling apart. At the end, you knew that we were still trying

We almost broke up because of small things. We already exchanged bad mouths. We walked through the points of saturation. We understood. We still believed. You fought, but I already gave up. I felt numb. At the end, we knew that we tried.

The moment I told you that I gave up, I felt sorry. The moment I told myself that I gave up, I felt unusual. I thought I was selfish for giving up. But it will be more selfish if I stayed to the moment that can’t be felt anymore.

The moment I told you that I gave up, I felt happy.
The moment I told myself again that I gave up, I felt the tranquility. I thought I was selfish. But it will be more selfish if I only thought of you and us without me and my real feelings in the portrait.

The moment I told you that I gave up, I felt the bravery. The moment I told myself for the last time that I gave up, I felt brave.

I felt stronger. I felt relieved. I already felt myself.

When I already felt everything, it was the happiest moment because once in my life, I became brave.


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