To My First Dance

first dance
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Years have passed and I still hold on to our memories–the most heart-fluttering and the most heartbreaking fragments of it.

That moment your forehead was pressed into mine while we giggled. That same day when you walked me home for the first time. That moment I realized I was in love. That moment I knew I was doomed and I needed to ready this heart.

And I did. I tried to distance myself, which eventually just made things more difficult for me. So, I gave up the pretense.

I realized that the more I suppressed these feelings, the more it intensified. And it terrified me. Cliche as it may seem but we were just bestfriends until I fell.

Most of the people around us thought we were a thing, and honestly, I really thought we could be. We were a perfect match, I believed.

Years have passed and looking back, I just want you to know that I regret nothing. You are a lesson forever engraved in my heart. You are a standard of the kind of man I hope I will walk the isle with. We may not have been official and we may not have given a label to what we were for reasons only us will ever know, still you let me know how I should be loved– through the things you did and through the things you did not.

This is not a farewell nor is this a reconciliation with you, this is simply letting go of the words I was not able to tell you when we waved our goodbyes under the dim, drizzling skies.

You will not always be a part of this heart, because I plan to give all of this to my future love. But you will always remain a significant part of my growth.

Thank you from the better version of myself.

– Aya

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