You Thought It Was A Hang-Out, He Thought It Was A Date – What Do You Do?


You may have had a workmate or classmate with whom you solve complex calculations or attend a dance class . Maybe you have entertained the idea of going on a date but abandoned it when you realized they had no such thing in mind. They could also have formed a habit of checking on you to find out how you are and you reciprocate. The times you spent together weren’t dates or felt barely like anything close to a date.Then one day they invite you to some upmarket, romantic eatery and you are left thinking it is a casual meal , but all signs indicate they thought it was a date. Then what do you do?

You may ask directly

Having been friends and shared time together, you may have been drawn closer together to the point of sharing an emotional connection. However, the unclear hang-out vibes leave you questioning what it really is, and whether it may have come too late to be a date. To avoid further confusion, you are better off asking outright if the meeting was a date or otherwise. They may give a straight answer, in which case you will have solved the puzzle. In other cases, they may try to hide their intentions by answering you with another question, like ‘what do you think?’ or saying something ambiguous like ‘I don’t know.’ You might get the answer by saying what you think, so they say what they intended, or not. Otherwise, having a lengthy talk can help clear any doubt.

Weigh the impact of a romantic relationship

The instances when you have a good time with friends, colleagues or acquaintances over a meal and drinks may be categorized in the middle ground – between a date and a hangout. The likelihood of there being so much at risk if the purpose is not evident is high, as opposed to those casual first dates that are agreed on or arranged via dating apps like Tinder. The best thing to do in such cases is to ask yourself whether starting off in a romantic relationship is of greater value than the kind of issues it may bring to the current relationship. Expressing your thoughts in the most transparent and clear way is crucial, as failure to clear up any doubts may complicate things.

You can choose to end the date

When you find yourself on a surprise date, then bear in mind that you always have a choice to end the date immediately, as you should not be made to participate in an event that you did not consent to in the first place. Also, remember you are adults who can communicate effectively, so you can have a discussion and express that you do not feel as he does and then agree to carry on with the activity or not.

Use strategies to find out his intention

You may use other strategies, like go through a mutual friend to find out from them instead , subtly, if they have a co-worker or friend who is interested in dating you. You may also observe in group meet-ups if they gives you more attention than they do to others. In all the strategies that you may employ, having better communication to understand their intentions is better than having less or no communication.

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