Last Words

by JC | shared on He Said, She Said |

“I know that this would be very hard for you. But I want you to be strong. I want you to love yourself more”

Those were your last words.

So lets cut it down as quickly as you cut what was ours éasily.

Sentence one: “I know that this would be very hard for you”

You knew that it would hurt me but it did not stop you from doing it. You knew that it would darken my days and haunt me at night but you did it anyway. You knew that my days would be empty but you still chose to do it. You did what you said you couldn’t do. You gave up on me.

Sentence two: “But I want you to be strong”

It was so hard, it was very painful. When waking up seems to be so tiring knowing I would not be able to receive a good morning message, or read a goodnight text that I wasn’t able to open because I fell asleep earlier than you. And love, I am very sorry but I did not become strong. I became stronger. I don’t know but honestly, as time passed by I became the person I never knew I will be. After you left, I became a better version of me. I thought that life would be meaningless, but it honestly became wonderful. Little by little, days by days, I started appreciating life’s little gifts. May it be a lovely breakfast prepared by dad, a happy shower, long breakfast talks and a time to just slow down. It felt sweeter talking to God first in the morning rather than reading your routinary messages.

Sentence three: “I want you to love yourself more”

I promised you that I will and I am forever grateful of you for that reminder. You may never have a chance to read this but I can proudly say that aside from cooking, I am very good at this. I am now doing the things that I want to do but could not do when we’re still together. I am amazed at how eating alone can be enjoyable. I can now heal my cramps by my own. I can now enjoy traveling by my own. I can now be myself at any place. I can now talk friendly to any guys, any stranger and anyone I want to talk with. I can now laugh so hard. I am now happy.

And though there are days that I miss you, that I want to hug you, or I want to whisper a prayer to your ear..

I know that you won’t be there anymore. Which is both a tragedy and a blessing. This may never reach you but I want to tell you these words..

“I know that it was also so hard for you. And you prepared and gained a lot of strength to let me go. But I pray that you’ll find the happiness within you, after you couldn’t find it with me.”

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