Left Melancholy

by JP and MJ | shared on He Said, She Said |

Sometimes, they say,
goodbye isn’t always have to be spoken
But as you walked away,
I began to explore the memories –
Our memories,
Following the trails of reminiscence
The ones you left for me to dwell
And I knew, that was a farewell for the two of us.

So here I am,
thinking in this dark, bizarre room –
Thinking about why you left
I thought everything was fine
But then again, never, it was fine
This insanity will never cease to stop
I can’t stop thinking, yet I’m just thinking
I don’t know what’s true anymore
I don’t know if I have dementia or
I am just grieving of the thought of you being gone
You see, your pretense was so perfect
That it led me to this abyss
You are just so perfect
And that’s the Irony of your perfection.

However, does it matter?
Thinking about the way we were –
The way your smile used to be for me
The way you eyes twinkle at the thought of us
The way your presence felt like home
Yet, I asked once again
Does it matter?
Thinking about you that I know
You’re thinking about someone else.

And here I am,
Losing every sanity existing within me
Melancholy engulfs me,
Lingering within my veins
Until it suffocates me with a river of tears
And then I thought,
we were never meant for each other
Weren’t we?
Yet we were still destined –
Destined to fall with the notion of you and me

I closed my eyes –
Hoping I could still picture out the two of us
The love that was there in your eyes
The feelings I could not possibly hide
And then I held your hand as I looked at you
And boy, it seemed like a million years ago since I felt utterly happy –
That the happiness I knew was right beside me,
A scenario of what we could’ve and should’ve been
But still, you chose to leave me.

Unfeigned with all my feelings for you,
I know I am utterly honest to you
Yet, are you?
Do you even think of me the way I do to you?
You don’t, I know . . .
Yet, you still left –
And you didn’t realize that my heart was with you.

And as you left,
not even a single word was spoken
But as the silence keeps calling out your name,
My heart is shattered and wanting you to be here
And as I begin to remember every last pieces of you
The you that used to be here –
The you that used to be the person whom I’ve fallen for
When my tears flowed like the brush’s strokes on canvass
Or when the cold winter freezes me out,
It’s you who thwarted me out in this cold
As you get closer,
I can hear your heartbeat singing out my name
But everything turned out to be a delusion
You left and that’s all there to it
I loved you more than a heartbeats in a lifetime
But you left without a single heartbeat.

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