Letting God Love You the Most [An Unsent Letter to K]

Unsent-Letter

Hello Tito Homer and Tita Jinky. 😊I am your silent reader. Matagal ko ng gustong magsubmit ng letter sa inyo pero medyo nag aalangan ako. Thanks I got the courage now. I know nagbabasa din dito si K. I can’t tell it to him directly kaya dito ko nalang idadaan. I hope you can publish this but please just keep my identity unknown. Thank you and God bless you! 💗

Dear K,

This is a big world but meeting you in an unexpected way and time is such a blessing. And to choose to set you free needs one strong soul.

And this heart has so much to tell you, yet it choose to be silent. But before I say goodbye to the years of secret and unstated love, to the years of being in an almost relationship, please allow me to say sorry and thank you to you.

Sorry for being childish and stubborn at times and sorry for acting like you should need me always. Sorry for asking too much of your time and sorry that you had wasted it on me. Sorry for pushing you to tell me your personal stories and sorry for owning you. Sorry for being jealous even if I wasn’t given the right to do so. Sorry for thinking that you’re caress, your stare, your I miss you’s, and Take Care’s mean something. Sorry for wishing for your love. Sorry for leaving you alone  and behind just because I became scared that you will be the first one to leave and sorry for coming back in your life, again and again. Sorry for being the girl you never wanted.

Now allow me to say thank you.

Thank you for making me feel those butterflies in my stomach everytime you come near me. Thank you for telling me that I am beautiful in my favorite dress and I am beautiful when I smile. Thank you for allowing me to enter your world. Thank you for the stolen shots and for letting me keep our story in photographs. For giving me shed – rain or shine. Thank you for accompanying me to every church I want to visit and for joining me in worshiping God.

You don’t know how much I appreciate when you let me choose where to go when I am frustrated with life or even in deciding where to eat, or even when you give way for me to have the sundae and fries you bought. Thank you for letting me listen to your laughter and to share in your pains. Thank you for accepting me and my flaws. Thank you for teaching me to care more about others than to think only of my own satisfaction. Thank you for being the man every woman dreams of. Words will never be enough to let you know how thankful I am to have you in this life.

But, I have finally decided to let you and our memories go. It’s time for us to be happy even if it means being apart. It’s time for me to let go of something I never had. I won’t ask people why can’t the universe just let us be together. I won’t ask for signs to justify my fantasies of you and me. And I won’t question God’s plan of keeping us distant from each other. I won’t, anymore. Especially now that I have seen you grow in maturity. Now that I have seen how you allow God to work in your life. I am sure that you will be taken cared of by Him. I am one of the proudest knowing that you are fulfilled in giving your life as your service to His people and especially to Him.

I love you, my almost. Always will. You are one of my greatest blessings. But now, I will let God love you the most.

Always,
B

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