by RB |
I still miss you. I still search for you. I’m still seeking you from everyone I’ve met, each day.
It’s so hard you know? It’s really hard to forget, to move on and to put away all those few memories.
Little memories that really brought me instant happiness. A happiness that once made me the most happiest girl in the world. Yes, it’s true.
I know you already know it — how much I want you to be happy. Even if that happiness doesn’t include me. I will wholeheartedly accept it. I guess, I can’t give you that kind of happiness and love that you want. No! Scratch it! I can give the happiness and love that you want, but unfortunately I’m not the lucky one you want to give those to. Sad, but true.
So please understand if it might take too long to unlove you — to kill this feeling. Please don’t worry because I’m still trying. Trying hard everyday. Everynight. Mostly till midnight.
I know you know that you’ve hurt me, but please don’t be sorry. Because saving me was not your job anyway, my dear. What I gave you was a love not wanting for anything in return. An unconditional love. So please don’t be sorry.
For now, just let me feel these. Let me love you from a far. Let me say the words, I LOVE YOU, even when you’re not listening. Let me love you in a silence where you’re only mine. And after that, let me take this one step at a time to finally forget you, to finally move away. Let me take this as a lesson-learned and as one of the great memories that I will keep my whole life.
A part of me will always be yours and a part of you will never be let go. I often wish that someday, somehow, we cross the same paths again. Where we’re perfect for each other. Where it will be God’s perfect timing. Where both of us are free. Lastly, it might be impossible but I still hope that when that day comes that you already love me, I hope I’ll still be here, loving you unconditionally.
My life will go on but you will forever linger in my memory. The little time spent with you will forever be cherished. Thank you so much for making me feel happy, especially when we’re in church. It’s a good feeling, knowing that you are with the person who’s special to you. I really thank God those times.
I think I was the most beautiful girl that day, if you only knew! The small efforts and little things I made for you will never ever happen again to anyone else. It was just for you, only you, who really deserved those things from me.
This is my last letter for you. This is goodbye. Don’t worry too much. I’ll be fine. I pray you’ll be better. This may sound unreal but I’m happy for you. I’m happy for the both of you ☺
From the one who can’t let go.