To You Who Promised to Stay, But Left

Promised to Stay

Marjorie Pamittan Sibal, He Said, She Said | With every ice cube containing your body that melted by my soul raging with fire, I want to tell you this: You will always be loved but now forgotten.

From the edge of the vertical line up to the tip of the brightest star in the sky. From the parallel lines up to the edges of the moon. From the non-sense and under-estimated woman up to the dignified Mary of heaven, know this, even your shadow will never appear in my darkest days even how light wanted to enter the hole. And with this, you’ll get no remorse.

You are open-and-shut and with that you debilitate me downright. What strength do I still have? What fight can I still win? What argument can I still defend when all I’ve got is nothing?

You left me hanging and you did your very best to avoid me as if you never benefited to the thoughts I shared to you. As if you never benefited to the feeling I let you feel when you feel so lost. As if you never benefited to the late phone calls we had before when all I did was to praise and complement you and for some inexplicable reason you had, I felt you had that curved lips starting to form under dawn.

The problem was that, you don’t say very much. I cannot hear things from you. Instead you stride everything in just a snap. Like, today you are enjoying my company then when I woke up, it is no longer me whom you are sharing your meals, your jokes and your stories.

How fast? How easy? How come? Why to me? Why to the person who is so good for your ego? Why to the person who never wanted to see you unhappy and discontented? Why to the person who has so much to offer to you? Why to the person who will never have second thoughts when it comes to you? And for God’s sake, Why to the person who never second guess your worth? So consider this as my bid of goodbye.

Thank you for the hang outs every weekends. Thanks for the coffee I sipped when you know I was stressed in school. Thanks for the late phone calls and for every fascinating messages.

You know that I will still be soft for you that if my phone rings and saw your name in my screen, I’d still hold up my phone and listen to that very sweet voice of yours that I’ve been longing since you left.

This is a goodbye I guess since you gave me reasons to leave and get out of that page. But please know this, you’re the BEST PERSON I ever had. I hope one day, I could talk to you and tell you how my life is when I decided to give up on you because I told you before I won’t leave unless you said so. I hope one day, I could find the smile you keep on hiding to everyone. I hope one day, I could see the peace in you. I hope one day, I could come across your Facebook account and can see a relationship status because I want you to be fine. I want you to be the person you were before that heartbreak you can’t tell to me and to anyone. I want you to be a soft-hearted man who has the gentlest hands to hold a girl’s heart.

I just wish one day… You’ll be the best version of you. I’m gonna miss you…

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