by CB | shared on He Said, She Said |

Everytime I see couples, best friends, and a girl and a boy who are walking or laughing together, I usually get bitter.

Why? We were used to be like that. We were used to be buddies and laugh our hearts out without any reason. We used to be them, just enjoying our time together without any malice. We used to be best friends and we used to be lovers as well. But what happened to us now? The chance of being us together didn’t happen. The relationship that hasn’t even started yet ended already. But things made me realize something today.

People said that best friends can be lovers but ex-lovers can’t be friends again. I somehow don’t believe that. I know of people who are exes but are still the best of friends. How did they do that? How did they still end up like that? Well, it’s their choice. It means that they still value the friendship more despite all the pains of being ex-lovers. And that they’re brave enough to change the bad memories to good ones again.

I envy people who did that. I  can do that but it’ll not work if the other side doesn’t feel the same way right? And that leads me to a realization that this is the time where you have to solve the puzzle and don’t be stupid to understand what the puzzle wants to say.

In my case, I’ve realized that I was just drowned by my emotions that time and that I just want to feel loved by a special someone. I’ve realized today that yes I love him but I love him more as a “friend” and nothing else. And I’ve realized that when we last talked, I didn’t just lose a lover but I also lost a best friend.

But deep down in my heart I know that someday, we’ll be okay. Someday, we’ll try new restaurants together and criticize it. Someday we’ll look at each other again and without saying something we already know what it means. Someday we’ll listen to each other’s drama and say corny things and funny stuff to each other again. Someday we’ll laugh again with or without reasons. Someday we’ll be in each other’s memorable and unforgettable moments again. Someday we’ll have our own crushes and get excited everytime we tell stories about them. Someday, we’ll be back at being “buddies to almost everything”. And that someday, we’ll forget about the past and treasure each other as best friends again.

And I know that “someday” is not today but I pray and hope that, that “someday” will be very soon and be any minute soon.

[011217; cb] with edits

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