Sa ‘yo pa rin hihingi ng Payo?
Teka muna, Besh, usap muna tayo.Let’s just say that you became friends with your ex. And that you believe that s/he knows what is good for you and what is not, plus your weaknesses and strengths. This is your assumption, right?
According to some relationship experts, relationships that end on the ‘we can still be friends’ note are likely to have exes running back to each other for advice. Such people find themselves sharing marital or relationship concerns with their exes because they trust them and believe they play friends role better in their lives. But this is not always true. Many times, it doesn’t end well, especially if the ex you are talking to has a partner already.
There is no need to create space for an ex in one’s life. Instead of seeking advice from an ex, confide in trusted friends and family. If you ask your ex, it would seem like you are not comfortable with the person you are with. Worse, it would show that you have space for your ex in your heart. Chances are that if the ex is still interested in you, this person might give you wrong advice which might destroy your relationship and s/he will be the first to snatch you back. Unless that’s what you’re hoping for, which is a very bad motive.
Communication with an ex should be limited to general conversations and not personal lives because this may ruin your current relationship. Leave your ex alone.
So you still decide to confide with your ex (kasi makulit ka lang talaga!). Do this. Take time to heal and establish a proper and clear channel of friendship. Then make sure you have no intentions of getting back together to ensure the advice is objective. Lastly, remain with the right to make final decisions even after the advice has been given.
In the end, there are two lives now at stake — yours and his/hers. If there’s a partner in-between, there’s a relationship you’d be responsible for. Take caution. Pray for discernment and wisdom. God will guide you through all your decisions.
– Tito Homer & Tita Jinky
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He Said She Said Philippines