by Milada Go
We were just one of those many people who started as strangers -turned into friends – turned into an almost. We always had a great time – no dull moments in all honesty. That’s how good of a conversationalist you were and I considered that as your superpower.
You understood me in every way – my dramas, fears, contradictions, and weird aspirations. But not even once did you laugh at my insanity. Nor neglected my depression. You showed me that in this world full of trends and fads, there is someone who slays the laidback vibe. That I can still be appreciated through violating the conventional; from the way I talk, to the way I laugh, or dress-up, and value relationships.
Yet things started to change. You started to change. Slowly you became someone you assured me you will never be. The pace was fast and before I could even get a hint of it, everything we had was all burned up. I was devastated.
I thought after a couple of years you have finally recovered from the one-sided love you just went through. I thought I was enough because we were happy. You liked me. Just the real and unconcealed me.
But it was a lie. The interest that you showed me was only part of your show. Yes, you really were interested in me, but that was not enough for you to feel home with me. It was like, you expected something to come up, unfortunately it did not workout. You were lost for words –lost for ideas on how to burn the bridge that kept us connected.
The times and emotions we invested in each other meant nothing at all to you. I have to accept that you were lonely and broken when you met me. You needed a past-time, a rebound, a distraction–from the memories of her that kept haunting you.
I was so naive to close my eyes from all the shadows of truth. How I wish I did not ignore them, because if I did, it will not hurt this much. But it’s okay. I’m okay. Slowly I am learning to accept that potentials are not always certainties. Even so, you are still my favorite almost.